Inner Child

Never grow old, stay young at heart

I recently signed up to run my first ever Rugged Maniac 5K Mudrun in November 2019. It has 25 obstacles. It’s a part of my vision to get into better shape and I thought what a cool way to celebrate my life. In September I will turn 55. It always amazes me how Spirit brings about my vision in ways I never would have imagined possible. 

One morning I was downtown having just dropped off my husband at work and I thought, “oh my God I can do the stairs at the Convention Center.” I love doing stairs! Ever since then I’ve included stairs into my training workouts. I began using the C25K App to train for this Rugged Maniac Mudrun. Luckily Higher Power gave me plenty of time to train.

A few weeks later my husband and I were at the Fashion Valley Mall which has lots of stairs since it’s a two story mall and there’s a AMC Theatre who has $5 Tuesday movies all day so I like going to this mall to take advantage of both stairs and a good movie at a great price. We went on a Tuesday to see “the Mule” with Clint Eastwood. Highly recommend it. The theatre has two floors and our showing was on the bottom floor. It just so happened that the escalator going up to one of the floors was broken and they were guiding people to use the elevator. 

As we left the theatre the line for the elevator was pretty long and the escalator was right behind us. I looked over at it giving thought to running “up” the escalator that was going down. The man behind me must have read my mind because he say’s to me, “I did it when I was a kid.” I thought to myself it can be done. So I walked over to the escalator to evaluate the situation. I knew I couldn’t do it with my purse and bag I brought so I stepped back and asked my husband to hold it for me. Then I walked back over to the escalator. I can only imagine what my husband was thinking at this time, “no way is she going to do that.” As the steps continued to disappear into the floor I waited to see when I could best take my first step onto the disappearing staircase. I found it and took it and began to run up the transcending stairs with all my might. About half way up I looked ahead to see if I was making headway and much to my delight I was, so I knew I could do it. I put my head down and kept running up the moving steps. I finally made it to the last step and happily stepped onto solid ground. Whew! I did it!!! Yay me!!!!!!!! Hell Yes! I’m awesome!! My heart pounding in my chest, I turned around to see my husband within seconds take his leap onto the ever disappearing staircase. I saw my purse swinging in the air as he trotted quickly up the revolving staircase. As he moved towards the top I thought,  “yeah, he’s in great shape.” He reached the landing where I stood and he said, “I can feel my heart beating out of my chest” We were both so happy we did it and within a second of my husband reaching the top next to me the friendly gentleman who stood behind me saying, “I did it when I was a kid” bravely followed us. Amazing! He came trotting up the escalator and reached us with his heart beating possibly faster than it had in a long time. We all three stood there on the platform with our hearts pumping strong and I high-five’d them both and then all three of us simultaneously high-five’d each other. It was the best feeling ever. I felt strong. I felt alive. I felt immense pride. 

As the three of us rode up to the next level I looked back at our new friend and said, “and that’s why we’ll never get old, because we do stuff like that.” As we reached the top level my husband said to me, “you rugged maniac!” Yeah! There it was, I wanted to be acknowledged by him. I later asked him, “what were you thinking as I ran up the escalator?” He replied, “I can’t let her show me up.” Ha ha! He didn’t want to do it, yet because I went for it he wasn’t going to not do it. It was so awesome.

We don’t grow old because we get older, we grow old because we stop doing things that the wonderful child within us loves to do.  

I love stairs. It’s a fun way to get and stay in shape.

I love stairs. It’s a fun way to get and stay in shape.

Procrastination leads to the first best last day of the year, 2018.

I committed to my advisors one of the ways I would celebrate 2018 was to walk North of Torrey Pines on the shore towards Del Mar. I usually walk south. I procrastinated a lot and waited until December 31 to go. Even then I could feel myself resisting going. Isn’t it funny?! Anyone else have this resistance sometimes to doing fun things and or self-care. Anyway, part of my resistance took me to drive around Olde Del Mar beforehand. It truly is one of my favorite neighborhoods in San Diego. As I drove around I started feeling better and better. I love all of the Torrey pines, the streets with no sidewalks, the variety of home designs and the lushness of the vegetation. It’s a cozy little neighborhood. A couple of the views are truly breathtaking. After driving around for a few minutes and taking in its beauty I was ready to set out on my little journey. I decided to park on Carmel Valley Rd and walk up towards the stoplight and figure out how to hike down to the water. I discovered how to quite easily. I very carefully and quickly walked over the railroad track. I love trains and the possibility of seeing a train this morning made my heart sing. I reached the sand and immediately walked over to a long wide gathering of wet rocks of every shape and size. As I got closer I saw several of the white opalescent smooth rocks I used to see south of where I currently was. They are my favorite rocks to come upon. My “inner child” who I choose to call my “little girl” was as happy as she could possibly be. I squatted down and picked up a scoop of wet smaller rocks that felt like sand in my hands and it made me smile. I love rocks. Someone once told me that I love them because my Zodiac sign is a air sign and the rocks help ground me. Made sense to me. Either way I am truly drawn to them. Mostly smooth round ones. As I stepped foot onto the sand I thought to myself, “what treasure will I find today?” within minutes I found it. It was a beautiful large empty shell that I’ve only ever seen in movies and in local tourist shops. Yup, the Universe was at it again, surprising and delighting me. It truly is the little things in life that make me the happiest. I decided to keep it. I picked up a couple of the opaline rocks and I felt abundant. There were people that would periodically walk by. I was the only one enjoying the bounty of the seashore gems. It was a cloudy morning, windy and cool. I was bundled up and didn’t need to concern myself too much with not having a adequate amount of sunscreen on. I was in heaven. I acknowledged myself quietly in my mind, honoring all I had accomplished with my business in 2018. Thanking God/Spirit/My Inner Being for helping me, guiding me and supporting me. 

It was a beautiful day taking in all of the natural beauty around me. Watching the waves rise and flow one after another. The cliffs, the clouds hiding the blue sky. Knowing the train would come by any minute. Seeing the Amtrak and Coaster glide by a couple of different times made my trip even more special. All of it made me feel blessed! I kept walking and every now and than I would crouch down to find more seashore valuables. My heart was full. I was proud of myself for making it there despite my knowing, feeling and seeing my resistance to do this. I was in awe of how Spirit had arranged this day. Because of my procrastination I was being given, I allowed in, I had created “the best” last day of the year that I ever remember having. It was pretty freakin cool and I was thankful. Hmm, I suppose procrastination isn’t always a bad thing. As I reached my turning back marker I found a straight 3’ piece of bamboo amongst the small rocks. My little girl nudged me to pick it up and I did. It felt good in my hand. I turned around and headed back to my starting point. I felt inspired to write in very large letters “thank you” in the firmly packed wet sand. The bamboo stick was the perfect beach pencil. As I wrote, I decided to also include in the affirmative, appreciation for what I intended to allow in, in 2019. That felt gratifying. I stepped back to take pleasure in my note to the Universe, feeling a great sense of trust that it was on it’s way. By this time I had a pocket full of sea treasures and my beach writing stick. I decided it was time to head back to my car. I noticed a soul sister, she too was searching and finding sea riches. I smiled to myself enjoying our shared interest of seeking and finding beach treasures. 

I don’t know that I’ve ever had a better last day of the year. I was filled with a lot of pleasure, joy, satisfaction, pride, connection and appreciation. I’ll happily accept more days filled with a couple of hours of anything that makes my heart and soul that happy. Cheers to the continuation of well being in all good ways as we enter into 2019. May you connect to your inner power and be blessed beyond your wildest dreams. 

Sea shell from N Torrey Pines

Sea shell from N Torrey Pines

Sea treasures from N Torrey Pines beach

Sea treasures from N Torrey Pines beach

The Coaster above N Torrey Pines and Del Mar beach

The Coaster above N Torrey Pines and Del Mar beach

Street view bench above N Torrey Pines and Del Mar beach

Street view bench above N Torrey Pines and Del Mar beach